Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Rough Patch

The last 24 hours have been rough. As you may have heard or read elsewhere, we're preparing for our fourth child, due in October. (Two things: (1) We are very blessed and I'm really happy that we're finally going to be considered a "big" family by my standards, and (2) wow... four?) We've been a little jumpy over the past week due to our recent experiences. However, last night around midnight Casey had some scary things happen. We called the answering service for the OB and the on call doctor (not Casey's usual OB) said that given our recent history things didn't look good. She said we were probably in the midst of a miscarriage. She said that we had the option of going to the ER, but if Casey wasn't having certain symptoms indicating that she was in danger there was little that they could do because we're not even to 6 weeks yet. She said that if we make it through the night without an ER visit we should schedule an appointment and come in when they open.

We called when they opened and got a 10:15 appointment. We had to wait for about an hour beyond the scheduled time. Casey's doctor had broken his thumb while skiing, so he tended to be slow and they were basically chronically behind on seeing patients. Once we got in a room and the doctor came in, he was quick to say that he thought everything was ok. He didn't even look at her or hear her story before he said that. He did go ahead and check things out, and did finally hear what we had to say, but stuck with the same thing. They took some blood so that they could compare her hCG level to what it was on Monday (it should have more than doubled since then). We'll hear back on the results tomorrow.

Even though the doctor was trying to reassure us and I believe him, I'm still a little in shock. I'm not in shock because I have doubts or because there are any remaining concerns, but because of what last night was like and how fresh it is on my mind. We thought we were losing another baby. They said they don't like to give false hope over the phone. Ok... so what about giving false hope as they walk into the room? He had already formed his diagnosis before even glancing at her, much less checking her. They put us through a completely crappy night. Essentially hours of the worst part of a miscarriage ordeal... and there is almost certainly no ordeal to be had! Yes, I know, I'm extremely thankful that we're not mourning right now... but I can't even concentrate on that feeling because of the mixture of residual grief and upset at their ability to totally mess with us. It seems that they have good intentions. They don't want someone to forgo treatment thinking everything is ok when it's really serious. I get that. I don't get how they can feel good about totally jerking you the other direction the instant you walk in. It's like "ok, they got the message that the situation was critical and came in. Now we can tell them that there's a 99% chance that everything is fine without collecting any additional evidence."

I'm sure the thankfulness will take over quickly and this will suddenly all be behind us, especially now that I've got this all typed out. I'm can feel that "normal" feeling starting to come back again... We'll know for certain tomorrow when we get the results.

1 Lonely Comment:

Unknown said...

It was a rough night and I am thankful that it is over. I don't think I have cried as hard as I did last night. Thank you for being strong for me when inside you were also hurting and scared.

I am glad everything is ok and i hope the rest of the pregnancy is uneventful